white mom: quit roughhousing!
white son: fuck u mom
white mom: oh heavens! thomas are you going to let your son talk to his mother like that?
white dad: go to your room billy right this minute!
white son: fuck u both *goes to room and jacks off and smokes weed out of mountain dew can*
I work at a Potbelly, and we’re getting new flatbreads (which we are not allowed to call flatbreads. We have to call them “flats” because flatbreads sounds “cheap”). Here is a list of things we have to do to promote it:
- The whole store has to wear new matching, promotional t-shirts on the same day twice a week.
- I now have to answer the phone with, “Hi. This is Potbelly at Madison and Franklin; Amanda speaking. Are you ready to be flattened by flavor?”
- Any time someone orders a flats, I have to tell them “YOU’RE FLATASTIC!” loud enough for the other customers to hear.
I’m watching the sixth season of Mad Men, and… what’s your deal, Bob Benson? WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Oh. Pete. It’s Pete.